Zack in the Middle
by BitterSweetTeller
Summary: In this parody of The Dating Game tv show, Zack Martin has to choose between three celebrities from the Hannah Montana series to get a date. Rated K plus for suggestive content.


Zack in the Middle:

On the deck of the S.S. Tipton, Zack was sitting in a tent like booth… with a microphone in front of his seat. Above the booth was a neon sign saying "The Celebrity Game", and next to the booth was three young women. One was a long black curly haired woman named Traci Van Horn, a second was a long blond haired woman named Hannah Montana, and a third was a long black haired woman with low red highlights named Mikayla. All three were dressed expensively, and with microphones in front of their seats. An announcer with short brown hair called out, "and welcome to the premiere of The Celebrity Game…funded by Mr. Tipton himself!"

Across the world's television screens on a certain channel, the show was being shown to many eager viewers…those that actually like watching reality tv. Back on the deck of the S.S. Tipton, Cody, Bailey, London, and Mr. Moseby were clapping. Ms. Tuttweiler wasn't among the crowd though, because she didn't much care for that sort of thing.

Within the booth, Zack was muttering nervously to himself, "come on Zack…you can do this. It's not like you haven't dated before…on worldwide television!"

Hannah Montana whispered to Lola Lufnagle, "why am I here again?"

Lola Lufnagle(aka Lilly Truscott) reminded her, "because if this goes well, Jackson is up next time…and you want him out of the house."

Hannah realized, "right. Thanks."

Lola concluded, "you're welcome."

Mikayla whispered, "Hannah…don't look now, but someone in the crowd is very taken with you."

Hannah figured, "you're just trying to hurt my feelings, aren't you?"

Mikayla sighed, "well, at least I tried."

Traci urged in her somewhat high pitched and somewhat deep voiced accent, "can we get things moving here, people? My manicure is scheduled in a half hour."

Bailey urged, "Cody, why are we here again?"

Cody concluded, "to support my brother Zack."

Bailey figured, "yeah…he needs all the help he can get."

Cody sighed, "he can be a real pain, but he is still my brother."

Bailey concluded, "you're right. And it'd be great for him if he hits it off with one of these lucky ladies."

Cody figured, "that's more like it."

Bailey sighed, "I just hope he doesn't blow it."

Cody sighed, "so do I, Bailey…so do I."

The announcer went on, "and I have here the questions that Zack is going to ask the bachelorettes. Here you go, my good man…your first question." The announcer handed a card to Zack through the booth.

Zack commented, "right back at you, my good man. That expensive dinner is as good as mine."

The announcer slightly chuckled, "why don't you read the question and pick a bachelorette?"

Zack figured, "I'll go with…number two. Bachelorette number two, your house is on fire. What do you grab on the way out?"

Hannah answered, "my cell phone, my family pictures, and…just my cell phone and pictures."

Zack added, "maybe there's room for pictures of me."

Hannah muttered to herself, "do it for Jackson, do it for Jackson."

The announcer slightly chuckled, "let's not get ahead of ourselves. Just stick with the ten questions, and then you do whatever you want with the bachelorette of your choice."

Zack sighed as he was handed another card, "fine. Bachelorette number three, what do you see yourself doing when you retire?"

Mikayla sighed, "glad you asked…Zakayla."

Hannah sighed, "oh, come on!"

Mikayla figured, "all right. Well, I see myself on a couch, drinking milk, thinking of my fans, thinking of how I don't need to…help around the house, with my maid still working for me."

Zack commented as he was handed the third question, "wish I had that. I know, I know…next question. Bachelorette number one, you're stranded on an island. What three things would you want with you on the island?"

Traci figured, "well, for one thing, you wouldn't catch me stuck on a desert island…unless it was with someone as cute as Jackson."

Hannah muttered, "ok, eww!"

Traci added, "oh Hannah, you know you love him too."

Hannah figured, "yeah, but not like that."

Traci sighed, "your loss."

Hannah sighed, "just answer the question already!"

Traci figured, "well, if I was stuck on a deserted island with Jackson, I'd have my cell phone, my yacht with 3D TV cable and lots of food, and my beloved cat."

Hannah sighed, "that's five things, not three."

Traci figured, "oh, who cares?"

Zack concluded as he was handed a fourth card, "anyway...bachelorette number three, you need to cancel your weekend plans because of rain. What do you do instead?"

Mikayla figured, "text my friends about it, and then go back to watching TV on the couch."

Zack figured as he was handed a fifth card, "sounds good. Bachelorette number two, A mutual friend flirts with you. Would you tell me?"

Hannah laughed, "would I tell you? We haven't even met long enough to know about any mutual friends."

Zack added with a smirk, "there was that time at the Tipton, where you ate cake off of…"

Hannah urged, "ok…let's not go there."

The announcer urged as he handed Zack a sixth card, "ok then…next question!"

Zack asked, "uhh…bachelorette number one, do you see a glass as half empty or half full?"

Traci figured, "neither…I see it as completely full of my special touch."

Mikayla scoffed, "now who seems full of it?"

Traci scoffed, "how dare you?"

Zack just laughed, and sighed with relief at catching his breath.

The announcer urged nervously, "umm…next question."

Zack asked as he was handed a seventh card, "bachelorette number three, if you could have three wishes…what would they be?"

Mikayla chuckled, "just to have some more fans. That's the only wish I'd need."

Hannah remarked, "yeah…you wish!"

Mikayla tried to point out, "I have had decent albums."

Hannah remarked, "oh yeah? Well, Cupid has a heart, and it's not yours."

Mikayla remarked back, "well, we've yet to see this other side of yours…miss Best of Both Worlds!"

Hannah urged, "well, you're about to see a dark side to me if you keep this up!"

The announcer urged, "umm…let's move on, shall we?"

Zack asked as he was handed an eighth card, "yeah…I mean really. Bachelorette number one, if you could be any animal, which one would it be…and why?"

Traci concluded, "simple…a household cat, so I could still hang out with my cat."

Mikayla sighed, "if only it was that easy."

Traci urged, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Mikayla smirked, "oh, nothing."

Traci scoffed, "well, I never heard such a foul mouth!"

Mikayla figured, "it's part of my charm."

The announcer sighed, "let's get on with the next question."

Zack asked as he was handed a ninth card, trying hard not to laugh, "bachelorette number two, how do you comfort someone when something traumatic happens?"

Hannah figured, "I'd give that someone a shoulder to cry on…or visit them in the hospital with soothing words."

Mikayla realized, "that actually sounds…good."

Hannah concluded, "there may be hope for you yet, Mikayla."

Mikayla sighed, "thanks…I think."

Zack asked as he was handed the last card, "bachelorette number three, what's your idea of a romantic evening?"

Traci figured with a smile, "this is going to be good."

Mikayla figured, "well…a fancy dinner by candlelight on a cruise ship, which is what I'm getting tonight."

Zack sighed, "how'd you guess?"

Mikayla realized, "are you saying that…you choose me?"

Zack concluded, "of course. You're witty and charming."

Hannah concluded with a laugh, "charming? You?"

Mikayla called out, "in your face, Hannah!"

Hannah figured, "as far as I'm concerned, you can have him."

Mikayla figured with a smile, "oh...ok then."

Soon after the game show…

Mikayla and Zack were walking hand in hand before a shocked crowd…well, besides Bailey and Cody. Zack whispered, "I know your secret."

Mikayla chuckled, "what secret?"

Zack chuckled, "Alex, you haven't changed a bit."

Mikayla whispered back as they walked past a crowd of people, "just don't ruin it for me!" She and Zack were protected by bodyguards as they exchanged whispers.

Zack whispered back, "I won't tell…if you follow through with dating me."

Alex chuckled, "you mean I have to make a good impression?"

Zack urged with a chuckle, "no…you already did that."

Alex urged, "then what…Zakayla?"

Zack concluded, "I'm talking about kissing, a private room, eating our hearts out…"

Alex sighed, "so I don't just have to date you for the publicity."

Zack concluded with a devious smile, "you got it."

Alex smiled, "from what we've been through, that shouldn't be a problem."

Zack concluded with a smile, "really?" Alex(aka Mikayla) kissed him in front of the crowd of passengers, much to Zack's inner joy. Paparazzi snapped away with pictures. The crowd clapped in awe, especially Cody and Bailey.

Cody figured, "there's something about her…but I can't quite put my finger on it."

Bailey concluded, "I know what you mean. She seems…so familiar, like she's been here before."

Cody shrugged, "but Alex is more of a troublemaker…than a celebrity. At least, that's what my impression is from hearing you talk about her."

Bailey concluded, "yeah…she was just on the teen cruise to Hawaii. It can't be the same one…could it?"

Cody sighed, "who knows? It may very well might be."

Bailey confirmed, "yeah…but it's just a theory."

Cody concluded, "yeah…just a wild guess of a theory."

Alex answered, "really."

**The End…Or The Start of Spin Off Fanfiction?**

**Please Feel Free To Comment On Or Continue This Storyline**


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